The World's Best Quidditch Matchpart 2
by ILoveMyCookies
Summary: Hey guys!well for all of those who read and liked the first one heres part two!Its not about quidditch however this ones about a sex ed class in hogwarts.Havent yet found a title so if you have ideas go ahead and name em.plz review!part 3 soon!


Selene:(8)Bow-chica-bow-bow(8)  
Lindsay:You've been listening to porno music again.  
Sam:Never a good sign.  
Selene:That's right!And i'm in the mood to write the sequel to 'the world's best quidditch match!  
Sam:(Disclaimer)Caution!This story may cause you to split your gut,spurt things randomly from your nose and cry all over your friends!  
Lindsay:On with the story

(title idea:not permanent)  
The world's best sex ed class! or Why they don't have Sex-ed at Hogwarts.

Harry:Ron,what is a breast and how do I use it?  
Ron:I don't know!If only there was some random sexual teacher here to guide us.  
Lupin:Ya,wouldn't that be nice!This is a sexual education class.  
awkward silence  
a light seems to gon on in lupins head  
Lupin:Oh...Oh,yeah!...one sec.  
POOF!

Through the baby powder induced haze they see...

Parvati:OMG!  
Lavender:He's so dreamy!  
Hermione(in know-it-all voice):I heard about him once in 'Hogwarts:A History'!(angelic music in background)  
Lupin:half-covered in a sheetI never touched you!I'm innocent!  
Hermione:backing away slowlyum...your..uh...sheet is...uh coming off there professer.  
Lupin:oups...uh.  
POOF  
:in the voice of someone talking to little three year oldsIt's me ,children,Sexual Ghost Master!(black eyed peas:My humps comes on and he air-humps around the classroom)

A/N:SGM means sexual ghost master

SGM:Now,Harry,Professer Lupin(winks unecessarily as his face is covered in sheet)has informed me that you are unaware what a boob is and how to use it.  
Harry:tilts head to one side in a confused wayBOOB?  
SGM:Also known as Breasts,Tits,Jugs,Quaffles,Faduncadunks.  
Ron:in voice of a grandmother who is trying to pinch the cheek of her grandchildren  
Hey,Hermione!Don't you have some of those?Huh?Don't cha?Don't cha?attemps to poke boob  
Then out of the corner of his eye he notices Krum looming ominously in the distance making stabbing motions with his wand while creepy music from jaws starts playing.

Ron looks around for the source of the music as it gets faster and faster.He turns around to find...Viktor Krum still wide-eyed and making stabbing motions at him barely an inch from his face!

Krum pokes Ron in nose with wand.

Ron:Ow!My nose!  
Viktor:Oodle burble goo!  
Ron runs away screaming  
Harry:Ron what are you going to do?Krum's going to kill you!  
Ron:Wait!I've got a plan!('plan'echos in the background)

Slow Motion

Ron runs to Viktor,a look of pure joy on his face,his arms flailing in the wind.He arrives at Viktor and...Pokes him in the eye.

Ron:Bother!

He runs away giggling as Krum falls backwards still in slow motion .He sits up an brings his finger across his throat then points at Ron.He then gives him the middle finger.

End Of Slow Motion

In the Forbidden Forest:

Hercules walks up to Hagrid and Maxime and starts talking about sausages.

Mcgonagolhigh off dumbledores cologne skips over ,naked,covered in vines.She brings her fist to her mouth and blows glitter fairy sparkles at Hagrid as Trelawney joins her in prancing around the men.

Hercules:Oh,look!Forest whores!  
Hagrid:Argh!Sex sparkles in my eyes!It burns and is pleasurable at the same time!

Somwhere on the school grounds...

Hermione walks around trying to ignore Viktor who is Floating behind her continuously making jabbing motions in her back.  
She stops.  
5 minutes later.  
Viktor punches her in the back to get a reaction.

Viktor:Pee pee ,Ca ca!  
Ron:I have had enough!

He brings his fist to his mouth and.  
PWERT  
...blows cookie dust in Krums eye.

Viktor:OMG!My only weakness:Chocolate chip!

Out of nowhere The sexual Ghost master appears ,air-humping as he walks with black eyed peas in the background.

sgm:That's right children!Laying a hand on woman is bad.So I suggest these!

hands over a whip and hand-cuffs singing to the tune of 'ding!fries are done!'

SGM:Would you like a malfoy with that?Would you like a Malfoy with that?Would you like a Malfoy with that?  
Ron:Oh,yes please!  
Draco:Ewwwww!I don't like redheads!Hey,Hermione!Would you like to try this new whip with me?  
Mione:Booooo!throws popcorn at him

Draco cracks his whip and chases hermione.

In the Quidditch stands:

Ginny:Neville!Get over here and help me up!  
Neville:Yes,dear.  
Ginny:Don't you say 'yes,dear.'in that unsattisfied manor!I happen to be carrying your children!All 43 of them !  
Neville:Ahhh.But are they really?That is the question.  
Ginny:Shut up ,you.  
Neville:Yes,dear.  
SGM:laughs at him and makes whipping noise at him then air humps away  
Hermione pops out of nearby bush looking horrified and panicked  
Hermione:Gah!He has found me!runs off

sirius stumbles out of the forbidden forest with fang in toe.

harry:OMg Sirius!Where have you been?  
Sirius:panting but smilings-sau-sausages!

A/N:yes we know its a lot more dirty than the first lmao but hey its fun!Let usknow what you think! 


End file.
